The day was Sunday…time was 5:45 PM. I was a total Nervous Nellie and probably should’ve only had one glass of wine at this point. My very first show as a television host is about to debut in 15 minutes. (caveat: I have done a lot of work…I was even on E! for a while co-hosting with two other dear friends in 2009) But this…..this was my first time on the air as a host, on a major network…by myself…on TV… carrying a show.  This was an epic moment for me. I’ve done some  things in my career that I’m really proud of but this one was really the pinnacle for me.

I have watched countdown shows and clip shows for what feels like forever. The Soup, AFV, Tosh, etc. I’ve always wanted one. As a kid I was in awe of Daisy Fuentes, Mary Hart, Tom Bergeron, Wendy Williams, Brooke Burke and others. I wanted their jobs. I now have it. This was a 1 Hour special counting down the World’s Greatest Commercials….and I WAS the host. FRIG YEAH!

I am as confidant as they come….I’m generally a cocky ass jerk about it. It’s probably my greatest defense mechanism but today was different. I was pacing, freaking out, totally terrified that people were not going to like it. Worried about my makeup, my delivery, was I funny?  Thankfully I was worried for nuttin’. The amount of love and support that came from close friends, new friends and even social media friends I have never met before blew my mind. I really, truly felt loved. People thought I was talented and expressed it. It feels really fantastic when people rally behind you as your cheerleaders when you’re in a moment of utter vulnerability.

This business is so insane, it’s like a whole other world and it’s hard to comprehend unless you’re really in the trenches. (It’s Hollywood…I get it. It’s not a war zone. My job is a way easy cakewalk compared to a lot of the things I have seen people have to do to survive especially as I traveled over the past year.) but with that said….It is NOT an easy profession. It is not an easy road. Most people don’t stick it out.

So back to Hollywood…. people tell you NO on a constant basis. Rejection is basically your middle name. Karla Rejection Cavalli- that’s me…and GET THIS…..I have actually been lumped into the 1PERCENTER category of performers who have actually seen some success. AND I AM STILL TOLD NO OFTEN.

I’ve been hearing this for almost over 20 years. Can you imagine the amount of “NOs” I have heard? There were many. And I’m sure there will be many more.

But I never let it stop me.

And I think that’s what I’m the most proud of right now.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of my performances on World’s Greatest and the 14 upcoming episodes of Planet Primetime of course but….It’s about to be the height of my career so far… a few weeks before the debut of my very own travel television show, a few days after my first Countdown show aired and I can really say that I am most proud of being able to accept NO for an answer. And move the fuck on. If I couldn’t ….I wouldn’t be in this position right now.

CLICHE ALERT! Those “no” responses have only fueled me to pursue my dreams even harder. And I sure did. They didn’t defeat me. Okay….sometimes they did. I cried and screamed and I was bitter for spans at a time but I never let it really defeat me. Even though I’m in the fishbowl I can see through the filthy glass a bit more clearly now. Just because you’re not right for one thing doesn’t mean you’re not right for another. Opportunities will come your way but as my dad likes to say if you’re not in the game there’s no way to win. I think that’s his version of the other famous cliche.

You can be criticized for being too old, too ethnic, too American looking, too white, too black, too skinny, too fat or whatever “TOO MUCH or TOO LITTLE” they want to label you.  It’s your own perogative to be persistent and passionate about your dreams. Hollywood or elsewhere. ( If it came easy for you…BRAVO… and you’re annoying.)

And if you’re neither of those you can forget it. Because it takes a hell of a lot of dirty work to get there. I don’t have famous parents, I didn’t sleep with anyone to get a job …ever (true story), I could barely pay my rent many months. BUT HELL FRICKIN YES DUDE> all the days of those tough jobs seating people at restaurants, lugging wardrobe racks, checking coats, slaving over some ungrateful celebrity…..equal up to this moment right now.

I have traveled around the world with this gig and every single person I encountered looked at me and said “you have the dream job”. Literally hundreds of people that I met have said that same exact sentence. I’m living it. I am living the dream…. but it wasn’t a dream to get here. I busted my ass. Like big-time. I worked for free many times over.

SO….what’s my point? I don’t really know, but to be honest in my experience EVEN WHEN YOU REACH the dream…….you’re still a Nervous Nellie. And for me that’s a damn good thing.

Stepping off the soapbox in 3….2…1….

Next blog……how I landed this “dream job”.