Karlita's Way

I had a thought today…could I be addicted to chocolate?I love it. I have to have a little, or a lot every single day.When I had a chocolate ice cream pop for dinner last night I decided I needed to take a closer look at my situation.Today I pranced into my kitchen singing like Mary Poppins. I opened all of my cupboards and my fridge so that I could see just how much chocolate inhabited my home. This is the result:  Hagen Daaz, numerous types of Reese’s, cakes, Hershey kisses, cookies, Easter eggs, cake, Junior mints,  Dove bars, Lions Bars,

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HUZZAH!!!!! Our Knight of the Joust, Britannia’s Knight WINS for his wenches!(So what he is closing his eyes. It was bright out. He still beat the other dudes) The Renaissance Fair.I suggest everyone go.Immediately.It is amazing.I have been quite a few times to the Faire, Fair whatevers…in NY. Last weekend I went with friends to the one here in Socal.We basically guzzled beer and cider, launched spears, threw axes, cheered, laughed, screamed, taunted witches, fed the geese, and ate enough meat pies for the village of Cornwall.Anyone who dares to make fun of people that go to the Ren Fair

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I have had a request by a reader for more. So more I will bring you! (said with a British accent) I was petrified that my mother would read my diary. I did NOT want her to see the salacious things I was admitting to.  Apparently I didn’t think that putting a list of explanations or codes on the inside cover would throw her off the scent.I clearly thought Vicki was a total idiot when I was 10.I was the idiot because as I grew older I slowly learned that my Mother knew everything. Like EVERYTHING. She was freaking psychic.She

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FORGET the royal wedding! My grandma is guest bartending! My little brother decided to make the above flyer for her big night tonight! Apparently the more people she packs in the bar the better her chances of winning the bartending challenge and the grand prize of 500 bucks. Clearly my Nanny, which we so adoringly call her, has a young spirit.

How can anyone think its okay to only have ONE person on duty for the overnight shift in an airplane tower?The lives of thousands of people are in their hands….directing flights to land safely.We have to pay to check a suitcase now and they have the audacity NOT to have a backup dancer in the tower? Someone tell me where all of our money goes?They want us to pay for a ticket. Then for a “preferred” seat. (meaning an exit row which used to be doing them a favor offering to lift the door)Now we have to pay for gas,

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Okay….every now and then I have a brilliant idea. Less often than more often. This popped in my head whilst spring cleaning my apartment spic and span …and at the same time avoiding running into the murderer who was literally on the loose today in my ‘hood’.  Now I live in the ‘hood where ‘ghetto birds’ as my lovely neighbor calls them hover overhead for hours interrupting my cleaning playlist. Cher- “Strong Enough”….Celine, Babs, Liza…yup everyone thinks a gay man took me hostage and not the gang banger the cops can’t get a hold of on Ventura Blvd.Holy quotes Batman.

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Jerk From now on I will call him Jerk. In my book “jerk” is a really bad word. As a kid if I called my brother a “jerk” I got soooo yelled at. “Asshole” was okay but “gaylord” and “jerk” were totally unacceptable in my house. It was the 80’s people…..yes we used that strange word, gaylord.  I didn’t know what it meant then and I still don’t. But it was totally off limits and apparently highly offensive which I why I used it often.Jerk, the black stable cat.How sweet, how cuddly! The stable got a new kitten! After a

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It has been about a month…maybe more since I went riding.  I finally got to the stable today for a long overdue lesson.  I usually ride once a week and have a lesson with the most amazing and patient teacher. I am re-learning to ride English.  As a child I was fearless and riding often. Not quite the same situation these days. Even though I am an Aries, I am no longer utterly fearless.  I guess with age comes sensibility. Being sensible is boring and clearly holds me back from doing anything exciting and/or worthwhile. Today the beautiful Selle Francais

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I love the dog park. I have an obsession with the dog park. It’s my safe place. I go there to be one with the universe, even thought it’s distracting because it stinks like dookie.I probably go more for me than my dogs but they do really love it there as well.At least I think so.Regardless…every single time I go, there is some jerkwad who opens their big mouth, sometimes more than one jerkwad.My dogs are Pekingese, and ancient breed of Chinese dog that is sort of rare around these parts. They have very long beautiful hair that has taken

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There is no one more annoying than the grown woman sitting beside me requesting the nail technician “be creative” with a design on her toenails.First of all, she couldn’t make up her mind or be “creative” enough herself to come up with a design to request.Secondly she’s pushing 40 and she wants flowers on her electric blue polished toe nails?Really?There goes my relaxing Saturday mani/pedi. I truly wonder what things I do to people to warrant them writing a ranty blog. A plethora I’m sure.